POWER UP YOUR RELATIONSHIP HEALTH

Do you remember the TV show Father Knows Best? Yeah, I do too. *Wince* OK well, age comments aside, Robert Young’s character was the quintessential PROJECTOR.  How come, you ask?

The answer is right in the opening of every show. Each weeknight Father comes home at the end of a busy day at the office. One by one, each family member comes into the room to greet Father with smiles, love, and anticipation. With each member’s greeting Father lights up a little more. Finally, Father is home, and the family is complete, and everyone is grinning like they just won the lottery.

The relationship between the PROJECTOR and the others (especially the Generators) is essential and deeply interdependent. Now if Robert Young comes home from a busy day and everyone was gone, or worse, ignored him? Or he went to The Simpson’s house by mistake? The kids would be playing video games, Mom would be on the phone with dinner only half-prepared, and the dog would be chewing on the rug. About this time, Father’s ready for a drink instead of his expected hugs.

So why is it, that the thing Projectors require and need the most is so elusive? I wish I could bottle the solution. But a look at how Projectors relate with Generators will provide some clues.
Generators ENERGIZE! Projectors when they:

  • Appreciate them authentically through your words and deeds.
  • Invite them! Invite them for lunch, to a phone conversation, a movie, a sporting event, or a book store. Last month a Projector friend of mine was in town for business. I offered to pick him up at his hotel for our dinner plans. He was familiar with the area, had his car, and perfectly capable of getting from point A to point B and back. It was a simple gesture of recognition. When I picked him up, he gushed with appreciation.
  • Energy Types (Generators and Manifestors) ask your Projectors for their perspective. Such as, “What do you see with this situation, account or project?” or “Any suggestions on how I/we can improve on _____?” Note. Only ask if you sincerely want to know.
  • Projectors can be very assertive in advice-giving. If that happens too often, inform them respectfully by saying; “Hey, this works a lot better for me if you would give me feedback this way or like that way.”
  • Be mindful that a Projector’s energy depends on the recognition and flow from the energy Types. Be aware if you have the power and desire to support your Projector, be it in an intimate relationship or work projects.  Keep them informed when your energy focus changes or you need to discuss ways to improve on it.

Generators gift people and projects with their sustainability and energy.

When Generators live by their strategy, wait to respond, they have plenty of energy to flow to Projectors.

They also need to remember to disconnect from time to time to make sure they are not over-doing or over-giving to the needs of Projectors. Generators can get burnt out and stuck when they don’t take time to reset and recharge their energy – away from the influence of Projectors. To have a more balanced and healthy relationship, mark your calendar to include some weekend time just for you.

Generators love being asked yes/no questions. They respond best when asked – Do you have the energy for this? Is this a good time to ___? Would you like to do or go to ______?  Of course, these yes/no questions can be followed up with a dialog to get out the details.  The life force energy (Sacarl Center) works best when it has something in the NOW to respond to.

The Projector function is to guide and direct others.

Have you ever experienced being with a  Projector who is overly eager to assist or get involved with your process or progress?

When Projectors are pushy, they can lose their effectiveness as a leader as well as their vitality. Because Projectors are very focused on others progress, more than their own, they can sabotage themselves by bringing on feeling drained and bitter.

To avoid this dilemma, the Projectors approach to relationships is quite different. Where the Generator initiates asking and inviting. The Projector approach is to be silent and notice before they engage. Undoubtedly, a Projector knows best. They’re gifted with keen intelligence, sense of people, and an ability to read an environment marking essential traits for better functioning teams and families. When they feel secure in their knowledge, they can create more win-win relating experiences.

Final Reminders, Projectors:

  • You know what you know about a situation or person.  TRUST in your understanding and be patient for others to catch up with your insights.
  • Avoid the quicksand of busyness and doing-ness. This is not your style.
  • At work or in a group setting, take your time at the onset to notice the feel of the room. Observe and consider, is this the right environment and people for you?
  • Your best allies come from those who have you feel seen for your gifts.

Though Father Knows Best is more like a fairy tale than our modern world, utilize the metaphor as your template for group interactions.

In conclusion, Generators and Projectors: which of these reminders will you take to co-creating more cohesive teams and families in your life?

Read more about the Generator’s process.


Nattalee is available for a private consultation, on-going coaching, workshops and presentations on Aligning with your Design and applying this revolutionary science for personal and professional success.

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